Instructions on how to use a Mac:
1) Unplug Mac from any electrical input.
2) Get 1 gallon of water. Personally, I find water from the toilet works fine. If you're environmentally friendly, or your name is Al Gore, rainwater is the way to go.
3) Pour the water into any crevice in the Mac you can find.
4) Take a 5 minute break while surfing www.microsoft.com and chanting "WINDOWS, WINDOWS, WINDOWS".
5) Find a heavy object. Anvils, bowling balls, Oprah, whatever. Tie heavy object to the Mac.
6) Open the window. If the number of your floor is less than 5, take the stairs up, or find another building.
7) Drop Mac out of the window onto concrete underground (best results achieved when no potential passerby's are between Mac and concrete when gravity does its wonderful work).
8) Grab sledgehammer and go outside.
9) Until no pieces of the Mac are bigger than 1 square centimeter, bring down sledgehammer onto Mac.
10) You're done! Now go back inside, buy a REAL computer, and read Bill Gates' memoires.
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